MANFRED IN CRACKLAND
by Myew-chan
Summary: AU. Manfred is a giddy school girl who schools with his best friend Greg. Will his unrequited love for punk rockstar Maya Fey ever become reality? Warning, this fic was written by a yaoi fan. D: Genre is Horror 'cause of Manfred. *shudder*
1. Attack of the Schoolgirls

Hello. This is Myew-chan's sister again. I am writing lame crack 'cause I'm bored. I actually started this one a while back, but got lazy and had it postponed for a few months.

DISCLAIMER: I dun own anything OF COURSE.

WARNING: There are lots o' stuff like 'san's and 'chan's and 'shotas' and etc. There will also be lots of weird yaoiish stuff. Crack pairings. Shoutaconish stuff I think. Yea. Lets see...in this chap, there is MayaxManfred, MayaxPayne(!?),GregoryxEma, ManfredxMiles(..), etc. Yeah. I was thinking of putting NickxMiles later buuuut that's if I ever continue this story at all.

IT'S TRUE! I never planned on continueing this fic. If I get enough reviews thoouuuugh, maybe.

NO FLAMES PLZ. FLAMERS CAN GO DIIIIEEEEEEEEE. Since this is crack, I guess it doesn't matter, but I get really offended by flames. D:

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Once upon a time in a land faaar faaar away. In an AU land...

Manfred the giddy school girl skipped happily to school with a cheerful smile on his face. "Ladidaaaaa, today is the daaaay!!" He sang giddily as he giddily waltzed into his giddy homeroom. Giddily.

"Hee hee hee!" He laughed in his gruff voice. "My most wonderful companion, have you seen the latest CD?" Manfred's best friend, Gregory, nodded as he pushed up his glasses. "Indeed. Maya's popularity sure has sky-rocketed since her last debut." The manly school girl nodded in agreement. "She IS the hottest punk guy ever after all!!"

After that day of manly giddiness, Manfred went home to his wonderful rich house. He sniffed the rich roses and inhaled the air of richness around him. Franziska, his younger...relative, ran towards him. "Hey big relative! How was school?" Manfred showed his terrifying happy face to the little girl. "It was EXCELLENT. More WONDROUS than ANYTHING you could ever IMAGINE." Franny flinched.

As day quickly became night, Manfred's cute pink cell phone started to ring. 'dun dun duunn DUUUN dunDUUNDUN . . .DUNDUN. DUNDUN' "Hello?" "MANFRED this is an emergancy!" Freddy's eyes widened in anticipation. "What is it, old chum!?" "It's...it's...I just found out...I'm related to...the Feys!" GOSH how could this be!? Freddy's best friend...was related to the one and only FEY FAMILY!! "Oh em GEE. I must meet Maya! I must! I have posters of her all over my walls!" Greggy nodded in agreement. "Yes indeed."

Anyhow, after the spaz attack...Freddy decided to sleep and wake again in the morn. "YAAAWN." He yawned in his godzilla yawning voice. "Today, I will meet my one true love. The one and only...Punk rockstar...Maya Fey!! She even entrances the spirits of dead politicians!" Sparkling with joy, he quickly slipped into his sailor fuku and flew out the door.

"Franny! Franny my dear! What did you make me for breakfast?" Franny looked at him from the kitchen and stared for a second. "..I made waffles." And indeed, on the table was...waffles. They towered to the ceiling! Such wonderful waffles! Covered from top waffle to bottom waffle with pure Aunt Oldbag syrup. Manfred licked his manly lips and whispered, "Come to papa you heck of a waffle you..."

How scarred for life Franny was, seeing Manfred eat food every day. It truly was a frightening scene...well, anyhow, school went by quickly and Manfred went home with Gregory.

"How's your younger sibling, my dear friend?" Greg pushed his glasses up. "He's as siblingish as usual. Emitting the light of sibling glory in its gloriest moments." Manfred smiled. He enjoyed looking at the young...shotavictim-I mean sibling-of Gregory's.

After entering the wonderful Edgeworth...shackapartmenthomething...Manfred looked at young Miles. "Hello." Miles cringed. Freddy turned back to Greggy and smiled in that frightening way he smiles. "So, where's Maya Fey?" "In the living room." Now Freddy was getting reeaaally excited.

Entering the living room...it was her. THE Maya Fey. In the flesh. Right before him...amazing. WOOAH. "HELLO!" He shouted aloud. Maya turned to him. "HIYA!" She spoke in her normal speaking tone. A blush came across Manfred's terrifying face as he smiled while twitching his left eye. "I am your BIGGEST FAN. And also, I think you're hawt." Maya smiled. "That's so sweeet!...I think?" She began contemplating her thinking track.

Beside her was another beautiful manwomanthing. Though in Manfred's seeing eye view, only Maya was the pretty one. This other lady was named Mia Fey. And was Maya's older sister. Who was contemplating Maya's state of sanity. Regardless of her existance, Manfred began chatting with the rockstar of his dreams...about shoes. And panda cookies.

Maya had taken an interest in the cool Manfred von Karma, so she decided that perhaps...he was...a love interest!? Having no taste in men(including how she had a crush on the steel samurai when younger..), she decided OK. Punk rockstar Maya Fey would go out with ugly school girl Manfred.

Back at school, the groups of manly school girls screeched in jealousy as they heard the news. Manfred had gotten with THE Maya Fey! "I'm so envious of you Manfred-chan!" "Yes! Me toooo!" Matt and Juan whimpered as Manfred skipped off with his new hot date.

"-and then he went BAMYUUUN!!" Maya enthusiastically waved her arms around as Manfred watched in ecstacy. They held hands and skipped through flowery fields with hearts flying around them. "OOooewwwweeeeEEEEeeayaaaaaaSAAAAA!"

After returning home, they turned on the TV and sat together on the couch. Maya pet Manfred's hair while whispering, "Wow Freddy, your hair is so sooft." Manfred giggled. "Yaaan! Your so seeexy when you whisper like tha!" Strangely enough, Manfred's deep voice saying such a thing didn't quite faze Maya at all.

Maya walked Manfred home after that and left. When Manfred skipped into the reading room, he found Franny reading some manga on the couch. "Fran Fran!! What are you reading if I may ask?" She looked up. "Ah! Older Relative! I was reading 'How to whip an older person'!" Freddy pat her on the head. "Good good, Fran Fran! After your done, go whip some bystanders for me, alright?" "Yeah yeah!" Franziska giggled and continued reading.

When returning to bed, Manfred never would have guessed the horrible news that awaited him the next day. DUN DUN DUUUUN!! D:

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Manfred waved to Greggy that morning as usual. "Hey Grego-" "MANFRED." ..."...what is it?" "I have terrible news!" Manfred's face contorted. "What can it be??" Gregory's face turned very serious. "It's..it's Maya. Maya..she-" Manfred grabbed Greg's shoulders and screamed, "WHAT ABOUT MAYA!? SPEAK UP MY FELLOW COUNTRYMAN!!" Greggy squeaked. "Maya's fallen in love with another!!" GASP. Manfred's face contorted some more as he let out his anger. "GUUUUAAAAARRRRARARRARAARRARAAAA"

After bashing his head on the nearby wall a few times, he stomped aaaall the way to the Fey manor. "Maya! What is the meaning of this!?" Maya blinked as she walked out of some room, nicely decked in black leather with her guitar strapped over her back. "Huh? Oh. Freddy! I'm so sorry but I-" "No! I won't hear it! Now tell me! Who is this other woman you've fallen for?"

Maya held back her tears as she gasped the name of her new lover. "Her name...it's...Winston Payne!" Mia, who was also in the hallway at the time, almost hurled when hearing Maya say that name. Manfred clenched his fists in anger. "GUAAAARGH!! PAYNE THAT...THAT..GRRRRRR!!"

Anyhow, Manfred walked to Gregory's house while being angsty and emo. When walking in, something caught his eye. "Gregory, old chum. Who's that?" Greg pushed up his glasses."This is my new boygirlthingfriend. I just caught em shipped in this morning."

It ended up that Gregory was now dating someone by the name of...Ema Skye. He picked her up at the science museum and they got together...somehow.

Ema smiled at them and waved. "Hiiiii! You must be Manfred! I heard about you from my dearest Greg" She smiled in a somewhat insane manner. Manfred held up a thumbs up towards his great buddy and grunted, "You caught a pretty good one there." Greg pushed up his glasses as a response.

Ema suddenly stood up and gawked at him. "Omg...do you like SCIENCTIFIC EXPERIMENTS!?" "I'm sorry, but I'm not into science." Ema's expression after that reply turned into something between shock and the verge of tears. "H-how can anyone not like science...I...I'll try to get along with you Manfred but...I JUST CAN'T BEAR TO HEAR ANYONE DENY SCIIEEEEEEEEEENCEEEEEEE!!" She ran out the door sobbing, breaking a few pots on the way out. "Look what you've done Manfred. My girlfriend just left because of you." "I AM SORRY COMPANION, but I am not a liar!" Greg nodded. "I suppose you only did what you had to."

A few minutes after that strange occurence, Miles walked into the room. Upon seeing Freddy, fear crossed his face and he turned to leave. Just then, Manfred called out, "Oh! Little Miles! It's good to see you again!!" Miles turned slowly and tried to avoid eye contact. "Uh...huh..." Greg pushed up his glasses in a dissapointed manner. "Miles, that's no way to treat a guest!" Miles let out a sound of discontent and said, "Sorry...uh..." He looked up at Manfred, still avoiding eye contact. "..Hi."

When looking at Miles for a second time that day, something came across Manfred. That young boy...was awfully...something Manfred couldn't explain with words. He just wanted to tackle and do non-consensual things to that young boy right then and there.

Unfortunantly for Manfred, Miles sort of figured out what he was thinking when looking at that...expression on Manfred's face. Miles started panicking and ran into his room. Greg pushed up his glasses. "I wonder what that was all about." Manfred sighed and looked at Greg, saying, "You know, old chum...I suddenly find your young sibling extremally attractive and would like to molest him someday." Greg was taken aback by Freddy's coment. "Uhh...you do know that he's only in elementary school, right?" Manfred stood in an abnormaly dramatic position at that moment. "Of course I know that. I know this love is forbidden! BUT I CAN CROSS ANY BOUNDARY FOR I AM MAAANFREEED!! GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGHGHHH!!

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And that's it for chapter one. THX FOR READDDINNNNGGGGG. XP And have a nice day. Since I like to rant, I will rant. The only fics I'm decent at writing are CRACK FICS. YEAH. And since I like yaoiish stuff, I put that in there! So yeaaaah. Review if you feel like it and go have a niiiice daaaaaaaaaay.


	2. Return of the dark menace

Hiya. I have returned from the depths of hell just to bring you more MANFRED! Actually, the reason why I suddenly had a desire to update again was because of my recent obtaining of...Apollo Justice. And just to let you know, I don't think Justice is a stupid name! Common! JUSTICE! HE'S so full of JUSTIIIIICE!!!! Like Justice Justice in Doujin Work. He is pure JUSTICE!! Yeah. Anyhow, beware of this chapter's excessive shotaness and crack. I recently watched Boku no Pico, so my scarred mind now knows no bounds!! AHA. I only write happy rated E stuff though, so it's safe to say I won't go that faaaar.

DISCLAIMER: The only thing I own is my own pair of socks.

WARNING: Crack. And LOTS OF IT. I think. To tell the truth, I think my crack skills have diminished since last chapter, so you might not find as much of it as you did before. Though I personally think my writing style has improved...I dunno. I guess that's for YOU the READER to decide!!! XXXXXDDDDDXDXDXDXDXDXD. Yeeeah. And also, this chapter is NOWHERE NEARLY AS GOOD AS THE LAST, in my opinion. READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION. (PS. There's also some Manfred coming on to Miles in this chappy. URRRGH THE SCENE BURNS MY EYELIIIDS. Yeah, it makes me cry too.)

RANT: Oh yeah, by the by, this chap doesn't have as much Manfred, so it isn't as crackful. It's mostly DRAMA! Oh dear lord! Drama! Yes I said drama! I think. I think it's drama. But don't take it seriously. You shouldn't take anything seriously in this fic. Edgeworth's terribly traumatizing life with drama and soap opera plot devices in it! Oh yes, I also have an APOLLO JUSTICE character in this chappy. I'll be throwing more of those later...I can't help it! They too lovable!! I assure you I'll try making more crack in the next chapter though. If there is one. I might forget I said that though. Since I keep forgetting the names of all the side characters in the game! My memory is that baaad! I just remember those guys from the last case I finished! You know, like Machi and friends. UUuu-- Maybe I'll throw in some side characters next chapter. Maybe more Manfred victims...but Manfred only has eyes for Miles! Or does he... Anyhow, hope you enjoy this chapter. It's preeetty uncreative, I know. Maybe it'll be better next time. This one DID focus on Miles after all. No wonder there isn't any good action! Hmm, it might also be focusing a bit on Manfred's...pedoness. I should put more Ema huh! I already finished typing this up though, so no Ema for you! Maybe next time! With some Lana too, maybe!! ;D

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That was when it all began. Manfred's lust for young adorable boys...

An unhealthy hobby had just been born!

He was sweating like a buff wood chopper who had just spent a day in the sun shopping onions that make a grown man's glands cry BUCKETS. Of course, Gregory was a bit unnerved by the sight. But oh well! This is Manfred! It is perfectly normal for him to be a freaky weirdo!! He did have to say something though, so he did.

"Manfred...My younger brother is but a grade schooler! You can't molest him until he's in high school! No, scratch that, you can't molest people period!" His glasses shined like a spacecraft heading straight towards area 27 at the ludicrous speed.

In reply, the Manfreddy just continued to sweat and let out his over sized laughter. "GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!! I DON'T MIND IF HE IS PETITE. It is enough. I WILL NO LONGER LOOK AT HOT GUYS LIKE MAAYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!"

It was obvious he had been broken up by that terrible breakup with the hot Fey. Gregory sighed in defeat and said, "Oh alright, I suppose you can molest my chibi brother. Just don't let him know I said that." The glasses caught wind of those words and started making hideous creaking noises. In the end, everything turned out alright though and Freddy headed home.

Upon arriving, he spotted Franny on the porch, watering the lizards. "Oh Fran Fran. I see you're scaring off those pesky lizards again."  
"Yes brother, they were congregating again today."  
"OHOOOOOOOHOOOHOHOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Those silly lizards! They should have learned by now that if they come, we will water them!"

Anyhow, Freddy skipped to his room and tore off all the Maya posters. Tears shot out of his eyes like guns and splattered against the floor in big glorp like sounds. As the posters hit the floor, his tears began to become dry. "Oh Maya. I thought our love would last, but now I know...IT WAS NEVER MEANT TO LAAAAAAAAAAST!!!! UUWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

Outside the door, Franziska flinched as she attempted to mop the halls now filled with the leaked fluids from Manfred's room.

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It was a lovely day. Sunlight shined towards a window, but was barred out by those dreaded curtains. A shake fist from the sun shook at curtains and cried out, "CURSE YOU CURTAIIIINSS!!!!" The curtains just laughed and smirked in a cocky fashion. "You can't beat me SUN! AHAHAHAHAHA!!!LOLZOLOZLZOZLOLOLOLOZLOLZOZZwwwww!"

Miles was huddled up on his plain bed, gasping as he tried to comfort himself. What a dreadful nightmare...Any dream with _that man_ in it _must_ be a nightmare...

Scuffling out of his bed, he proceeded to get dressed in his tidy school uniform. After brushing out his hair and making sure he was neat and presentable, he decided it was about time to have breakfast. Walking into the room, he noticed Onee-chan cooking up some hot cereal.

"Oh, Miles. Good morning." He stated, glasses glimmering in the light.

Miles nodded in return and received his bowl of cereal. Munch, he munched. Munch munch. After a decent munching, the adorable Miles took his backpack and said goodbye to his elder sibling. It was always best to leave the house early, since if he didn't...A shudder suddenly ran up his spine. That friend of big sibling's...Ugh!! As poor Miles shook his head, as if trying to shake off that feeling of disgust, he felt disgusted, as he couldn't shake off the disgust of seeing what he was disgusted at in his mind being disgusting.

His pace quickened, and he stayed at that pace until finally arriving before the school building. Whenever he was at school, life seemed good! Until something bad happened. Then it went back to sucking real bad. Miles entered his tiny elementary school class which he will someday realized is much smaller than he thinks it is. (That's what happened to me..) And what does he see there? A familiar face! FRIENDS! "Oh, hi Miles!" said nice boy Phoenix, who happened to have a pretty not so seen around these days name. "It's Miiilessss!!!" said stupid boy Larry, who Miles was quite sure had a low IQ. AND SO THEIR FRIENDSHIP PROSPERED.

Miles laughed as he spent quality NORMAL time with his friendship buddies. It was nice. He could actually believe life was nice until he got home...and remember that people like Manfred exist...Classmate girl Franziska always got angry when he mentioned things like that, but she just doesn't want to admit it herself. Surely she can't possibly live with that Manfred guy and be CONTENT with it! That's crazy!

"Someday, I'll have underclassmen that I can be respected by!" said Nick.

"Someday, I'll be really hot and have aaaall the girls to myself!" said Larry.

"You're an idiot." said Miles. He said that a lot.

That was an excerpt of their happy lives. But it won't be happy for long! 'Cause Manfred's coming to town, and he knows whether you've been naughty or normal, since he's the one molesting kids around the block! DUN DUN DUUUNNN.

After school, Miles split up from his friends and exited his safe haven, only to have the worst walk home of his life...It all started that walk home from school...It was a normal walk, as if it was yesterday, being normal and all. He was going around the block, and suddenly MANFRED APPEARED! "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH--MmMmph!!!--" The Manfred had grabbed Miles..._OH GOD,_ thought Miles, _WHY MUST THESE THINGS HAPPEN TO ME!!!!???_

The Manfred dragged Miles into a corner, his already frightening smile cracking into an especially frightening one. "Now now sibling of Greggy! This won't hurt a bit!!!!!!!" (A/N, no, this isn't going to be graphic molesting just to let you know. This fic is rated T after all! I think.)

Miles managed to get the hand off his mouth and he screamed for help! "W-WRIIIIGHT!!! OH GOD HELP!!!!!!!!!!!" Yes, of course he calls for Nick's help. He can't trust his elder sibling any more and Larry's an idiot.

Of course, no one came to help! Manfred began making his way towards stealing Miles' virginia and was quickening his pace too! Oh dear! What a fearful school girl he was. The scariest part was that he was still wearing his sailor fuku!

Far away, a flower petal was about to fall off of its stem. Dramatically. In a close up zoom in. But no! It prevaaaails!!!

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Miles got home in a mess, breathing heavily while he was at it too. "Onee-san!!!" Gregory, upon hearing Miles' despairing voice, rushed over in a calm and slow manner. He gave Miles that look that was saying, Yes what is it I know whats going on I'm conspiring with your enemies and I don't care.

"I...I was assaulted on my way home from school! And I know you're conspiring with the assaulter! You're just that sort of person after all!" He scoffed and turned his head away from his elder sibling. "I'm going to move out! Go somewhere safe and away from YOU and you're HIDEOUS PEDOPHILIC FRIEND who should GO TO HELL by the way!!!" It was evident that poor Edgey was quite messed up after that previous confrontation.

Gregory seemed shocked. "But young sibling of mine!--"

"NO! I'll have none of it!"

"You know that you can't live on your own!"

"Yes I can! Wright lives his life in a cardboard home, so I can too! Especially with the help from rich associates!"

"You have no rich associates!!!"

"Why YES I DO as a matter of fact!" Now Edgey was grinning. Oh god, he has rich acquaintances. Gregory won't get out of this easily.

It just so happened another boy was in the room besides Edgey. He was quite adorable. Miles grinned some more. "I met him on the way back today! He's the one who rescued me from that ferocious demon of a woman!"

Gregory was sweating bullets! Really small bullets! About two every twenty seconds! "But!-- That is-- Wait--"

"HOLD IT!" Announced the young not prosecutor, "You don't have the right to speak to me anymore! I'm running away! And I'm not coming back to this wreck of a home!" He then dashed into his room, dashing right back out a few minutes later with a large suitcase following behind. "Good bye sibling, and good riddance! I'm sure you think the same!"

Upon Edgey's announcement, the other boy, a blonde character from Apollo Justice, smiled and allowed his glasses to completely absorbe Gregory's essence in it's entirety. "Hoho, I am that pwnage after all. Fear me."

And Gregory feared him. He was that cute I mean sexy scratch that, menacing.

This was the power of Kristoph! That one blonde classmate of Edgey's who is actually in a different class and is quite the adorable little feller!

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Yes yes, this chapter ain't too exciting foo. Just wait till the next one! Which will come out maybe in 2010. Maybe. Or later. I might completely lose interest in this series by then though! Aaaargh! Ah well, that's YOUR problem, not mine if you actually like this fic and want more. HAHA I laugh at you people. In a friendly way.

Thank you for reading. If you don't like, don't say you don't like.

And I don't mind if no one reviews. I never review either, so I know how you feel. D: (If you DO review, then I_ might_ know how you feel.)

If anyone has any ideas for crack in next chappy that might not exist, feel free to put ideas in your reviews. I dunno. Though I have a tendency to forget what you guys say. I know it's sad! But I'm thinking of putting Principle GANT in the next chapter...he is pretty frightening after all. OOooh, and maybe Gumshoe! The uh....janitor! Or something.

And also, as a bonus, have a oneshot AU of this already AU fic as a present for actually clicking on this fic.

**ONESHOT: The Movie**

It was raining, HARD. The plitter plattplatts of the pouring droplets attacked the window as if the window was a free PS3. They didn't mean to hurt it, bit it broke its heart nonetheless.

Maya sat in her velvet chair, her hand over her bulging gut. She patted it, rubbed it, and then started massaging it while humming the Steel Samurai theme song. The second one of first season. Her lacy dress was touching the floor as she wasted precious time. It didn't matter to her though, since she had plenty of time to spare.

"Maya! Maya! I bought you your bologna!" It was Mia. She came by every day, or atleast, every day she could 'afford the time to come' so that she could care for her cute little sister. "I'm sure you were getting hungry! Since you're usually so hungry, I brought you extra, along with a pound of string cheese!"

Maya smiled as she turned to face her beloved sister. "Thank you. I do love them string cheese after all!" When the bag of goods was placed in her arms, the not so think Maya laughed and smiled some more. "It's hard being pregnant when your a punk rock star! I'm sure all the ladies miss me!"

Mia smiled kindly as her eyes darted in a different direction. "Well, I'll be going now...don't want to impose on your hospitality after all!!" She was about to dash out of the house when Maya suddenly fell to the floor.

"OH GOOD LOOORD! THE PAAAAIN!!! MIAAA HEELP MEEEEEEEE!!! UUUUUUURRRRRRGGGHHH!!!"

A twitch came to Mia before she ran up to Maya, looking concerned. "Maya! Argh! The worst things always happen at the worst times!" She ran out the door and called over Sir Skye from across the street.

Sir Skye, upon being informed, rushed in and took a good look at Maya. "We should take her to the hospital. She should be giving birth any hour now."

"Hour you say..."

"We have no time!" Skye hoisted the screaming Maya into the air and carried her out of the house at an inhuman rate. Placing her in the van, Mia dived into the passenger seat while Skye manned the driving one. "To the hospital!"

The van started moving at a speed that would surely break some laws. But it was okay. Since Skye had power. Not just inhuman power, but political power as well. Along with powers that let her break laws.

Mia sighed in what seemed like relief. "Oh Lana, I don't know what I'd do without you!"

"Yes, I know." replied Skye. Oh, she _knew._

Sooner or later, they arrived at the hospital. Skye, once again, used her inhumna strength to carry Maya and dash at 300 MPH all the way to the emergency room. The nurses were running all over the place when seeing Maya! She was famous after all! But first was first, and they needed to get that baby out of her before it was too late!

"Doctor Stiles! Quick! A pregnant punk rock star Maya Fey needs your help delivering her child!"

"Did you say Fey!? I'm on it right away, Nurse Angela!"

The procedure went quickly and the baby shot out of Maya like a missile. Or something. It was actually quite terrifying.

Before that was known though, Mia was pacing through the hall. She had just called Maya's wife to hurry on over so the she could rush over to her job. Why did Maya have to go into labor now!? She was already fifteen minutes late!!

The hall doors burst open and Dr. Stiles came out, looking as dramatic as usual. "The operation...is COMPLETE! Maya Fey has a beautiful baby girl! And I got her autograph too! Sweet!"

Mia ran into the room and saw Maya, lying weakly in the bed, holding a cute little baby with cute little arms and legs and stuff. To Mia though, it didn't seem very much as describe though...

"Maya! Are you alright!"

"Yes Mia...I'm okay now.."

"Good, since I have to head on to my work! Hope you'll be fine here! That waifu of yours is on his way already! And here's your bologna." The bologna was placed in Maya's arms, right next to the baby.

"Alright Mia...I guess I'll see you later...alligator..." She then fell asleep. And started gnawing on the bologna. In her sleep. Mia was a bit relieved that she didn't start gnawing on the baby.

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Soon after, waifu ran into the room. "My dearest! You're alright! And--it's a baby! Oh wow! A real baby!"

"Yes," said Maya, "It's a baby. And I'll name her Trucy. After the nurse."

"The nurse? It must've been a great nurse then!" Waifu was excited.

"Mmm? Well, I guess it was an okay nurse. I don't remember. I just thought it was a nice name. If it was a boy though, I think I'd name it Mukuro."

"..." An intake of oxygen, "...that's great dear! Trucy the female baby is fine though! Yes."

Maya leaned over and gave waifu a kiss on the cheek. "You're the best Winston!"

And so, they were a happy couple.

Years later, Maya would return to the stage along with her daughter Trucy, who was a rising rock star!

Trucy would later fall in love with Wocky Kitaki and give birth to a Pearl Fey Kitaki. Yes, I'm serious. Maybe even a Gumshoe would be born.

Anyhow, this story focuses on one thing.

During that story, while Maya was being a pregnant hot punk rockstar husband to Payne...

Larry was running for president.

Larry for ####!! Yeeey!

Nick was his trusty right hand man, but was later revealed to be the wielder of the MUSIC NOTE! Whoevers name written in that notebook would become a master musician!

It was a musical year that year.

Anyhow, the moral of this oneshot is one thing: Even with a long width in the middle, punk rock star Maya Fey ROCKS YOUR WORLD. And to anyone who cares, Klavier is a sophisticated archbishop over in India.

The End.

That's it for my oneshot! I hope it lightened your mood today.


	3. A Trip in Darkness

Once again, I bring you horrifying crack. Nyeh.

Disclaimer: The only thing I own is my spongecake.

Maybe it's easier to be popular if you let out manly bellowing noises like Manfred! GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGHH!! Yush yush, it really attracts the ladies. Just kidding. Don't try it at home, or else you might get arrested. D:

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"GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGHH!!!!" HEAD BANG HEAD BANG went Manfred. His pretty prey had ESCAPED HIM!

"I see that you are upset, companion of mine." Greg was trying to comfort Manfred, but it was to no avail!

Freddy looked stump. He leaned back in his desk and contorted his face until it looked like a smashed TV that never EVER had a chance to survive make your time. "My life is so meaningless! At least you, dearest friend, have a partner! I myself, have no one. Maya Fey has left me for another! Miles ran off somewhere! Now there is no one I can turn to!"

"Hmm, that does seem like a problem." Greggy pushed up his glasses and looked intelligent for a second.

The door suddenly slid opened and the class fell silent.

"Alright class, first period begins now. Prepare..." Mr. Skye slammed a stack of papers on her desk. "for a Pop Quiz from **Hell**. I hope you all studied like I told you to on the first day of school."

The class moaned and groaned. How could they remember something she said all the way back then? Even Freddy was in disbelief. This _was_ his best subject though, so he felt at peace.

"YESSSS!" He cried out, "I AM AN EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENGRISH MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASTARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!"

"Silence von Karma." Lana lashed her whip out at the door, which looked like it was about to cry, if it could.

And so, the test began. Freddy's eyes looked beady as they concentrated on the paper. They were nearly bulging out at this rate. It was quite the terrifying site. Luckily, Mr. Skye was busy writing down her next plans to overthrow the school system, so she didn't notice. Not only was Manfred being scary, but he was also leaking waterfalls of sweat from every every pore of his body. Strangely enough, it smelled of roast tuna, so it was okay. Sort of. Still disturbing though.

When the period finally neared its end, Lana shot up from her desk and gave each student a stare down. "I see all of you are done. If you aren't, then you will be when I collect your test." When collecting the tests, it was true that everyone was done.

Stopping at Manfred's desk, she looked at the puddles in disgust. "von Karma. You will clean up this mess before you leave. Or else." Again, with her scary look.

Of course, Manfred was strong willed, and said, "Of course sir!" He then absorbed all the sweat back into his body like a sponge. Lana couldn't help but cringe.

"...von Karma. You will never sweat this much in my class again, you hear me? If I see that much of a mess again, you will be sent to a hospital."

"Hmph, of course sir." Freddy contorted his face, as if saying, 'Here squirrely, I am a large tree who will devour your preditors.' No one really got the hint though. I'm sure they don't want to.

---

After school, Freddy went to Greg's place again. That date of his was there again.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHEEEEEEHEEEEEEEEEEHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!" she screeched, "Ahaaa! I made SCIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENCEEE!!!!"

All over the floors were potted plants. "What is this all about, old chum?" Freddy was quite confuzzled by the current turn of events.

Greggy pushed up his glasses and finally decided to say something after a bout of silence. "Oh, you know how it is with my girlfriend. She's just expressing herself in my home again."

Manfred replied manlyly, "Hmmm, I see! Let her express herself then!!"

The potted plants began sprouting until the ceiling was making contact with green plant material. "Successsssssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed young Ema. "I have created it! A SNACKOO TREEEEE!!!! Now I don't have to be in debt anymore!!! Onii-chan will be soo happy!!"

"Ema-dearest!" cried Gregorz, "If you have to plant snackoo trees, please plant them in the bathroom! The furniture will get wet at this rate!"

Ema turned at his remark and put on a pouty face. "Awww, common!!! It can't hurt to have a couple trees in your living room!!" Obviously she didn't know what the heck she was saying.

"Well, I...I....Argh, I suppose your right honey bunny. The trees can stay. For the time being." Manfred raised his manly eyebrow when hearing Greg say this.

"Reeeeaally!? Wow, you're the best, pudding pie!!" The young science freak was practicely imploding from excitement. If her excitement was edible, starving people in Africa would be fat and happy. With excitement. Along with everyone else. The whole world could become obese! "Since you're such a goood date, I'll make sure to give you glasses for your birthday that can see ultra violet rays!!"

"Why thank you deary."

This whole conversation made Manfred feel lonely to the pelvis. He needed a lover and it could only be someone like...like a little boy! Or Maya. He'd always welcome Maya to come back to him. Hmm....if Maya was a little boy, he'd be the happiest school girl on earth!

---

Miles enjoyed his new life in a box. It wasn't any box though, it was a CARDBOARD box!! And he got to live with Nick, who was quite the poor little boy! Larry came over sometimes, but he usually spent his normal life being normal at his norma home out in Normalia. Thanks to that Kristoph kid, he was able to afford air conditioning for this cardboard home. It was about three stories hight in cardboard, and had three bathrooms too! The plumbing took a while to install, but with Kristoph, nothing's impossible! He's that amazing!

Cooking a panful of eggs at the moment over the stove, Miles hummed a tune. Nick came in with the morning paper and started reading it at the table while drinking from his cup of banana milkshake. "Oh Edgeworth! I know that song!! Doesn't it go something like this? 'This was a triumph..'"

"Stop it Wright. You know I know that you know we both know that you can't sing. That's why you should'nt. It's terrible."

"Don't be that way Edgeworth! You know practice is everything! I heard that when Maya Fey was a kid, she sang as badly as that kid from Princess Princess!"

"You read that manga?..."

Luckily, the friendly chat was cut short by a sudding opening of the door. It was Larry! And he sure looked distressed!

"Hey guys! This is crazy! I found this in the gutter near your cardboard home!!" He was holding a bundle of joy. Or in a child's point of view (and mine), a bundle of TERROR.

Nick was frozen in place. "OH GOD IT'S A BABY." he whispered.

Miles on the otherhand was thinking something along the lines of, "That baby reminds me of the devil." but decided to remain silent instead of speaking his mind.

"There's only one thing we can do in a time like this..." started Larry, "...we'll illegally adopt it and raise it to become a ninja!" It was evident where he got the idea, seeing as how his shirt had a certain blonde in a disturbingly orange jump suit on it.

And so, the three children were given a gift from the gods. A daughter, which they decided to name Trucy. According to Larry, it meant 'truth seeker,' since Trucy was 'seeker of truth' and 'true seeing' and 'truth seer' etc. Miles scoffed. Luckily, they had enough cardboard in the house to creat a cardboard nursing room with a nice cardboard crib.

Only evil things could come out of this...

---

Meanwhile, one Ema Skye was planning something. Something big. In Greg's garage. Her own garage wasn't big enough for her plots, seeing as how she doesn't have a garage period. No one really minded her existing there, since it's not like anyone ever goes in the garage or anything. She was so thankful to have such an understanding date!!

She isn't really important though. Freddy, upon arriving at his home, rushed to his room, where he locked the doors and looked up frightening things on the interwebs. Franziska, not wanting to get involved in his terrifying interests, continued her whip practice in the backyard. So far, she managed to kill two birds with that thing. She also caught a fish, but that's a whole different story.

Manfred, after satisfied with his interwebbing, searched through his closet until finding the perfect outfit. He slipped on the tight skirt and even got out some spiked undergarments from somewhere...After becoming 'pretty,' he applied makeup to his face and brushed out his 'fantabulous' hair. "Mmmm, I'm a killer!" he murmered 'seductively.' Too bad his targets would only be more scarred from this getup.

Finishing up, Freddy opened the door and began pacing down the hall in his tall shoes with the pointy heels. Franziska looked up from her whip practice and shrieked. Pretending to not have seen anything, she began chanting some spells that she heard could erase recent memories.

Manfred quickened his pace and started swinging his arms in an insane manner. Dashing down the street faster than a cheeta, he raced around, slapping random bystanders with his long chains of justice. "MMMMMmMHHUUUHUHUHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAHAHHAAAA!!!" Finally he has gone insane! Or has he?

WOOOSH he went. WHAM went the bystanders, toppling over from his chains. And then, a target is seen ahead! With his ultra pedo senses, Manfred detected the young boy from miles away and started charging towards him. Said boy was trying to stop his hair from sticking up funny. Everyone at school kept telling him that his hair looked liked the devil's horns! How silly of them! Though said boy certianly did have an evil haircut there...

WWUUUUZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! Chains come by and bind the poor boy! "AAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!" He cries!! Twin demon horns swaying with the wind!!

"Your mine now boy!" said Freddy, winking at his captive while running really fast along the streets. The boy, tied in chains that were kept mid air due to being dragged behind by the super quick Freddy, shuddered at the feeling of wink. He then started thinking why he hadn't written a will before hand.

Poor boy. While being kidnapped, there was a witness though! Young pretty boy with accent stands dramatically in wind! "He's only in 3rd grade, ja!? Why is he kidnapped at such an early aaage!??" DUN DUUUNNNNN!

MANFRED STRIKES AGAIN.

* * *

Yeeeey. Okay, same as usual. Read, review, whatever. Hope you look forward to the next installment. If there is one.


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